Whirlwind...

Life is a blur as of late...

Spring has sprung and everyone is restless, longing to drink in the sunshine. My kids grow bigger; and along with their increase in size comes an increase in appetites, a wider disaster radius post-playtime and continued development of independent thinking - consequently: more frequent arguments both with each other and myself. My husband has been diligently studying, excelling in all his classes; I am so proud!

L., my youngest, has started walking and is quickly graduating from that mundane skill to more exciting techniques for mobility...such as climbing. [Really, who wants to walk when you could just climb stuff, right?]

A few days ago I caught her sitting in the middle of the living room talking to herself, "No. Nooo. No. No Ma. No Mom. No. Mom. No no. Noooo." She was practicing telling me no. My heart was filled with delight at her sweet voice, pride for her working so intently to enunciate her words correctly...and slight trepidation as I considered the implications of her resolve to clearly communicate her defiance.

My oldest daughter is learning important and difficult lessons about the ugliness of lies. Meanwhile, her father and I are being tested in matters of patience and grace. She is also rapidly learning to read and write. She enjoys writing letters and often I find random letters on her schoolwork or art pages. Occasionally, her random letters happen to form words, much to her older brother's astonishment and delight. He is very impressed by her "skill" and they celebrate her accomplishment together with cheering, laughter and expressions of recognition: "Great job!" "Wow...you wrote ________!" "You are such a great speller!" This warms my spirit. I love to see my children loving and encouraging one another.

I am considering what to do for my son's education in the fall. Boarding school has been an attractive thought from time to time. New, unpleasant and frustrating phrases have been surfacing during our conversations lately; "It's not FAIR!" "I wish I had a different mom!" "Why do I have to...?!" I really dislike the attitude I see him developing and find myself praying often for an extra measure of love and grace to respond to it. While this new "big kid" personality dampens my excitement about home-educating in the coming school year, it also deepens my resolve to guide him, to instruct him, teach and correct him so that issues of character, discipline and integrity may be swiftly addressed and corrected, deterring poor attitude from developing into bad habits and unpleasant personality in later years.

I am just taking it all in. At moments, reminding myself to pause to breathe or to resist the temptation to react. Other times, digging deep to find motivation to tackle the dishes and laundry, or to mom-up and confront the arguing coming from the kids' room [instead of hiding in the pantry with a bar of chocolate pretending not to hear it]. Occasionally, ignoring those tasks that seem so pressing and important, but will still be there tomorrow and just holding my baby a little longer while she sleeps, or sitting on the floor playing dolls, or pulling out a messy art project to do TOGETHER or attacking my children with kisses and tickles while they still enjoy it - I know it will not last forever.

This season is full of unique joys and difficulties...and so will be the next. This is a sweet sort of whirlwind to be caught up in.

The Schooltime Skirmish

Does anyone else encounter this battle with their children?

My first child generally loves learning and looks forward to the time we spend together during our "school" hours. My second child does not share that sentiment. Educating her often feels like a battle.

She is strong-willed and very independent. A few days ago, I spent all day working on one lesson with her. It was simple, and she completely understood it, and once she was finally willing to participate, she completed it in a matter of less than 20 minutes. But she just flat out refuses to cooperate.

Sometimes, as much as I enjoy teaching my kids and watching them learn, I would rather just be mom. I spend enough time as it is in conflict with the kids, reminding them to pick up toys...make their beds...stop bickering...quit whining...eat their lunch. Do I need to/want to be the daily education enforcer too? It exhausts me.

Recently, after one of those days my child refused to finish school work, [this time, my older child] my husband suggested sending the kids to a public school.

I feel defeated.

Are these just the hard days...the hurdles and bumps that are bound to be met and need to be navigated to move forward? Won't they be encountered regardless of what academic choices we make?

I don't expect to be the best qualified teacher for my kids all throughout their education.  But I was once relatively confident that I was competent to school my 3 year old. Surely I don't need to send her to school to learn colors and letters and shapes and numbers...

Maybe I'm not a poor teacher...maybe I'm a poor parent, since I can't get my stubborn preschool age child to comply. I can't really pass off that responsibility to a classroom education - that will always be mine.

Selfishly, I hope some of you other moms have days like this...days when the work of simply reminding, and instructing and refereeing and holding and listening and responding to each little voice at any given moment feels far more difficult a task than it actually is. I hope someone else has days when they feel outnumbered and overwhelmed; when the very thought of the collective energy their children possess exhausts them, when they just really want to say "yes"...and "thank you", rather than "no!" and "stop that!".  Then maybe I can take courage that I am not slipping quickly out of control, but I've found myself in the heat of a battle I must be willing to win...not for my own victory, but for their best interest.

I'd rather feed them a cookie, flip on a movie and be the most favorite mom ever!
But reason tells me, we'd all loose if I raise a white flag at this point.

Well, I've spent enough time avoiding the front line...I'm going to crawl out of my trench now
[...and press on until nap time. :) ].

Pick a Project

If your home is anything like mine, you've experienced those moments when dinner is nearly burning, baby is crying - needing to be fed or changed, husband is still at work, dishes and laundry are piling up, and a seemingly endless list of other "to do's" are screaming to be accomplished...all while whiney, hungry youngsters are tugging at your feet complaining that they have nothing to do. 

This is often the moment that "snaps" me.  I've been tempted in those moments to grab a cardboard box and empty their room full of toys and activities into it - throw it outside and announce that NOW they have nothing to do. [Which I have not yet done, but do not be too shocked when it does happen.]

It's not that they don't enjoy their toys, rather kids just need direction.  They need guidelines and boundaries as well as a bit of space for creativity and imagination to flourish.  Small children not only need suggestions of what to do, but often need us to sit with them and participate...help them along and teach them.  And while it is a joy and privilege to be able to spend that time with my kids, let's be honest - it's also a bit exhausting and can be overwhelming at times [and I only have three - I know many of you are caring for more]. 

I find myself balancing the fine line between providing a healthy amount of structured developmental activities and feeding my children an overdose of entertainment as I try to keep their busy minds occupied.  At times I struggle with the question, "Am I creating a habit of needing to be continuously engaged and entertained to be happy?"  When my kids come to me complaining of "nothing to do", I wonder two three a few things;

1. Have I allowed them to become over-stimulated by an excess of entertainments [games, movies, toys - even "educational" ones] to the point where they no longer find any satisfaction in those activities?

2. Have I modeled for them what it is to be still?  Have they experienced moments of quiet relaxation - reading a book, taking a walk?  Do they know how to enjoy just BEING, rather than needing to be busy?

3. Have I established in them a dependence on someone else providing activity for them all the time...or have they learned how to creatively construct ideas and activities on their own?

4. Have I been neglecting to provide structured activities for them? 

5. Do they feel overwhelmed by the options I have made available to them?

6. How can I provide them with structure, yet teach them to think for themselves?

7. How do I establish in their lives the ability to accept and enjoy moments of business and of rest? 

8. Are my expectations realistic at their stages of development? 

9. How do I juggle all the responsibilities life places in front of me AND keep three little ones constantly entertained...is that even what is best? 

*sigh*

I'm exhausted just considering it all.

While I don't have any really great answers, I've come up with a helpful tool I use in those moments when I cannot stop everything else to find "something to do". 

We call it "Pick a Project".  I've used it since my son [who is 5 now] was just a little guy.  I already mentioned that he seems to need the most structure in our family.  This little system has been great for him. 

However, since I made it several years ago, the "projects" for him to pick have become a bit too childish.  So I revised the activities and we now have a new and improved "Pick a Project" system.

I used an empty spice container for this project.

I cut out strips of cardstock the length of my container. 

At the bottom of the strips I listed an activity [such as "coloring", "read a book", or "complete a puzzle"] which my children can do on their own. One activity per strip.

This time around I made separate strips for my 5 year old and my 3 year old.  Some of the projects are repeated but now they have ideas specific for each of them.  I marked my daughter's projects with pink paper hearts at the top of each strip...and my son's projects with blue stars.

I placed all the strips [shapes at the top, writing at the bottom] into the container.

When I need some time to complete a project of my own...or when the kids complain of boredom, I pull out the Pick a Project jar and each child picks one of their strips. 

Whatever project is picked must be accomplished. I do not let them pick until they find one they like. 

It's not the big solution...but it is useful.

I need to continue to ask the Lord for wisdom as I train my kids.  I know the patterns they establish during these precious years will affect the rest of their lives.  I also know that God is able to work in their lives even [and maybe especially] where I fall short.  As I navigate these years of parenting and teaching my children, I am so thankful for His grace.  Each of my children is a blessing and my role as their mother is a gift from the Lord.  If your home is anything like mine...you will experience moments today when you need this reminder as much as I do. 

Free Printable Chart System for Kids - Part2

In an effort to help keep myself and my kids focused and productive throughout the day, I designed an activity chart for each of my older children. My daughter chose a butterfly theme and my son asked for a firefighter theme. I'm happy to share these resources with you. Today I will post the fire engine chart pages.  Click the link to find the butterfly chart pages in my previous post.

[Some of the information in this post has been copied from the previous post and will be repetitious if you have already read part 1.  Just skim through.]

Part of the fun of this project is involving the kids as much as possible. Children [and adults too] tend to take more of an interest and ownership when they are involved in the process. Whether you're introducing a new food, welcoming a new family member, or learning a new schedule, try to find ways to include them. My kids may not like to eat zucchini...but when they planted, watered, harvested and cleaned their own zucchini, it became exciting and they had fun eating it - even though it's not their favorite vegetable.

My kids love coloring. I asked my kids to color in the pictures on a few pages and to help me think of activities we could list for them to accomplish. [I already had my own list in mind, but allowing them to talk about it with me and agree on our list was engaging for them, gave them an opportunity to analyze and negotiate their activities and enabled them to take ownership of our selection.] For older children [or if you're not a hopeless perfectionist like I tend to be] you could let them cut out their shapes too...and write out their objectives.

The objective we agreed on were: "get dressed", "make my bed", "exercise", "Bible time", "school time", "pick up toys", "help Mom & Dad" and "be kind and obey".

Use the chart for whatever projects you would like to. I've left them blank for you to add your own chores, daily activities, or school subjects - whatever you want.

To download the charts, simply click on each page and then right click the image. Select "Save Picture As..." and determine a destination and name for each file. Then save the file to your computer.

Print each page on cardstock paper. I chose two tones of a single color [red] for the fire trucks and the firetruck background pages and then I printed the remaining pages on white cardstock, with the exception of the calendar [or chart page, depending on your preference], which I printed on plain white paper.

Once the pages are printed, I suggest letting your children color first, then cutting out the shapes.  My son colored in his large fire engine and the fireman seals & badges as well as the small fire department seals.

In the banner on the first page, write in your child's name or a title for your chart [or have your child write it]. And cut out the small fire department seals along the bold lines, leaving you with 50 1-inch squares. Cut out the large fire engine along the outer edge of the shape.

Cut out the small bold fire trucks along the outer edge of each shape. Attach magnetic tape to the BACK of each bold fire truck.

Cut out the small faded fire engines along the outer edge of each shape and write out your objectives on the FRONT of your fire engines; one objective one each. Attach magnetic tape to the BACK side of each faded fire engine - being careful to align the magnets so that the polar attraction of all magnets line up with your bold fire engines' magnets, with both fire engines placed face up - bold on top of the faded.

I formatted the badges and seals so you can choose which to use as the pad to place your fire trucks on.  You could use just one type or any combination of 8 per set of fire trucks. Have your child color each badge or seal you have chosen to use. [You could write in your family name or your child's name in the blank space on the Fire Chief badges...or have your child do this.] Then cut along the outer edge of each shape. Attach magnetic tape to the BACK side of each badge [or seal]; as you do this, consider how you would like your fire engines to be positioned and align your magnets accordingly, with your bold fire engines face up on top of your badges/seals [also face-up].

Determine what type of grid you would like to use for your chart. I have provided several options; a January 2011 calendar [You can download more styles and other months from my Printable Calendars page.], a blank calendar, or a plain blank grid. You could trim these if you'd like to, or simply use them as they are.

I used double-stick tape to adhere my chart pieces to the inner door of our "school armoire". You could use a magnetic board, poster board, wall, inner closet door...or even place your chart on the fridge - use your imagination! Here is a picture of how I have mine set up, but you could certainly place yours differently. My placement was not very well thought through. [I kinda got excited and just started taping.]

Tape or glue all your faded fire engines and the large [not the small squares from page 1] fire department seals/badges face up to your chosen surface. Leave the bold fire engines unattached, but place one on top of each seal/badge.

As your child accomplishes each task [or at the end of the day - whatever routine you choose] let him remove a bold fire truck from a seal/badge and place it on the task he has successfully completed. At the end of the day or week [depending on your chart] if he has achieved whatever goal you set [i.e., completing all objectives or completing a specific number of objectives etc.] award him with a tiny fire department seal square to be placed on the appropriate box on his grid.

In advance you should determine if you would like to give your child a goal to work toward. My husband and I decided that for every 30 fire fighter seals [or butterflies for the butterfly chart] our children earn, they will be give a set amount of money to spend and be taken out for a special day with Mom or Dad. You can set your own award system for your family; maybe the kids earn collective "points" to get to plan a family activity, like a game night, pizza party, movie night etc. Rewards make it fun for the kids and give them something to work towards...it keeps them engaged which encourages their interest and consequently their participation. Plus, if you throw in a chore or two as objectives on their charts, their involvement in the program could end up being a load off of your shoulders too! :)

I hope you enjoy these activity charts and find them helpful in your own family, school or daycare! If you think of a fun & creative way to use them, would you let me know about it? I'd love to hear your ideas. You can leave a comment on this post or email me at homeeducationjournal@hotmail.com. Thanks so much!

credits:

fire engine image; banner image; fire department seal image; volunteer firefighter badge image; fire chief badge image; fireman image; AlexandriaFLF, by Casady & Greene; 101! Block LetterZ, by Nght's Place also: Fire & Rescue Decals

Free Printable Chart System For Kids - Part 1

I struggle with keeping my family on a schedule.  This is unfortunate, since I have recognized that my children thrive when they know what to expect next.  My son [who is 5] appears more relaxed, generally happier and functions with more efficiency when he has a clear understanding of what he is expected to do ahead of time.  He likes to look at the clock and see that it is 1:38...and prepare himself for whatever activity begins at 2:00.  We realized early on that he needs time to prepare himself for change.  I assume part of this can be attributed to his age, however I recognize that much of it is his own personality.  [Maybe it is a familiar trait...? :) ] A schedule is not just helpful for the kids; anyone can benefit from clear expectations and timed guidelines.

My husband's schedule has changed, which of course affects our family's routines.  One of my challenges these last few weeks has been to set a schedule that will work for my family.  I'm not terribly rigid - at least not as dogmatic as my 5-year-old about start and stop times for each activity; however, the structure our schedule provides is truly beneficial for all of us.

Along with writing out and posting a schedule [which includes wake up time, mealtimes, school time, playtime, family activities and a bedtime routine], I wanted to find a fun way to encourage my children's participation.

I designed an activity chart for each of my older children.  My daughter chose a butterfly theme and my son asked for a firefighter theme.  I'm happy to share these resources with you.  Today I will post the butterfly chart pages and I will post the fire truck pages later in the week.  [update: the fire engine chart is now available.]

Part of the fun of this project is involving the kids as much as possible.  Children [and adults too] tend to take more of an interest and ownership when they are involved in the process.  Whether you're introducing a new food, welcoming a new family member, or learning a new schedule, try to find ways to include them.  My kids may not like to eat zucchini...but when they planted, watered, harvested and cleaned their own zucchini, it became exciting and they had fun eating it - even though it's not their favorite vegetable. 

My kids love coloring. I asked my kids to color in the pictures on a few pages and to help me think of activities we could list for them to accomplish. [I already had my own list in mind, but allowing them to talk about it with me and agree on our list was engaging for them, gave them an opportunity to analyze and negotiate their activities and enabled them to take ownership of our selection.] For older children [or if you're not a hopeless perfectionist like I tend to be] you could let them cut out their shapes too...and write out their objectives.

The objective we agreed on were: "get dressed", "make my bed", "exercise", "Bible time", "school time", "pick up toys", "help Mom & Dad" and "be kind and obey".

Use the chart for whatever projects you would like to.  I've left them blank for you to add your own chores, daily activities, or school subjects - whatever you want. 

To download the charts, simply click on each page and then right click the image. Select "Save Picture As..." and determine a destination and name for each file. Then save the file to your computer.

Print each page on cardstock paper.  I chose two tones of a single color [orange] for the butterfly and the butterfly background pages and then I printed the remaining pages on white cardstock, with the exception of the calendar [or chart page, depending on your preference], which I printed on plain white paper.  My daughter colored in her large butterfly and the flowers.  She would have colored in the tiny butterfly "awards" except that I happen to have a handy little Martha Stewart butterfly paper punch and decided to punch out pink butterflies rather than cut out the squares.

Once the pages are printed, I suggest letting your children color first, then cutting out the shapes.

In the banner on the first page, write in your child's name, or a title for your chart [or have your child write it].  And cut out the tiny butterflies along the bold lines, leaving you with 50 1-inch squares.  Cut out the large butterfly along the outer edge of the shape. 

Cut out the medium sized bold butterflies along the outer edge of each shape.  Attach magnetic tape to the BACK of each bold butterfly.

Cut out the medium sized faded butterflies along the outer edge of each shape and write out your objectives on the FRONT of your butterflies; one objective one each.  Attach magnetic tape to the BACK side of each faded butterfly - being careful to align the magnets so that the polar attraction of all magnets line up with your bold butterflies' magnets, with both butterflies placed face up - bold on top of the faded.

Have your child color each flower.  Then cut along the outer edge of each shape. Attach magnetic tape to the BACK side of each flower; as you do this, consider how you would like your butterflies to be positioned and align your magnets accordingly, with your bold butterflies face up on top of your flowers [also face-up].

Determine what type of grid you would like to use for your chart.  I have provided several options; a calendar [you can download different styles and other months from my Printable Calendars page], or a blank calendar, or a plain blank grid. You could trim these if you'd like to, or simply use them as they are.

I used double-stick tape to adhere my chart pieces to the inner door of our "school armoire".  You could use a magnetic board, poster board, wall, inner closet door...or even place your chart on the fridge - use your imagination!  Here is a rather poor picture of how I have mine set up, but you could certainly place yours differently.  My placement was not very well thought through. [I just got excited and started taping.]

Tape or glue all your faded butterflies and flowers face up to your chosen surface.  Leave the bold butterflies unattached, but place one on top of each flower. 

As your child accomplishes each task [or at the end of the day - whatever routine you choose] let her remove a bold butterfly from a flower and place it on the task she has successfully completed. At the end of the day or week [depending on your chart] if she has achieved whatever goal you set [ie, completing all objectives or completing a specific number of objectives etc.] award her with a tiny butterfly square to be placed on the appropriate box on her grid. 

In advance you should determine if you would like to give your child a goal to work toward.  My husband and I decided that for every 30 butterflies [or firefighter seals for the fire engine chart] our children earn, they will be give a set amount of money to spend and be taken out for a special day with Mom or Dad.  You can set your own award system for your family; maybe the kids earn collective "points" to get to plan a family activity, like a game night, pizza party, movie night etc. Rewards make it fun for the kids and give them something to work towards...it keeps them engaged which encourages their interest and consequently their participation.  Plus, if you throw in a chore or two, their involvement in the program could end up being a load off of your shoulders too!  :)

I hope you enjoy these activity charts and find them helpful in your own family, school or daycare! If you think of a fun & creative way to use them, would you let me know about it?  I'd love to hear your ideas.  You can leave a comment on this post or email me at homeeducationjournal@hotmail.com.  Thanks so much!

credits:

butterfly image; banner image;  flower images; Broadsheet LDO, by Luke Owens; Baskerville Old Face, by Isaac Moore; AlexandriaFLF, by Casady & Greene; Lobster, by Pablo Impallari; Scartan Floaben, by P. J. Cassel

also:

abcteach; and The Coloring Barn

What I Desire to Teach My Son

I came across this recently when I was cleaning out some boxes.  It didn't have a date on it, but I imagine I wrote it out before I had my girls...since I only found a page for my son.  It inspired me though.  I think it's easy to loose sight of what is REALLY important to teach our children.  I do think that academic education is important, but what our sons and daughters really need to grow to become healthy adults, they will never glean from a textbook alone.  What will enable them to live whole and satisfying lives; they will only learn by example and by God's amazing grace. 

I plan to go down my list and do 2 things for each item...1.  Come up with at least one comprehensive way I can intentionally teach him or prepare him in that area, and 2.  Pray for him. 

While my husband and I can and must instruct him...only God can do the work in his heart to establish his character.  We can train him how to act...but only Jesus can work in his heart...and mine.  

Jesus, give US wisdom as we teach our children each day...whether we are "educating" them at home or not...they learn from us each moment.  What a tremendous responsibility.


What I Desire To Teach My Son


Integrity: I desire for him to become a man who consistently makes choices to do what is right and honorable, not only when others may take notice, but when no one sees: not only when he views those decisions as beneficial to himself but even when doing what is right is not the popular or politically acceptable decision, and may be a detriment to his career or reputation, cause him loss, leave him disadvantaged or present a threat of harm.

Confidence: I desire for him to become a man who is comfortable with who God has made him to be and is unafraid to be himself and to boldly use the gifts and abilities he has been given to encourage and instruct others; who recognizes his strengths; who acknowledges his weaknesses, but does not allow them to discourage or hinder him; who is willing to try; who is undaunted by worthless criticisms; who is not intimidated by position or power, but views himself as God’s servant and lives life confidently, understanding his place and role.


Humility: I desire for him to become a man who understands and accepts his function as a servant of Christ, who values others and regardless of the social status others place on him, views himself as no more significant than anyone else; who is willing to be used by God to do great thing and little things alike; who values the life and assignments he is given and gladly and gratefully serves Jesus in whatever he does.


Honesty: I desire for him to become a man whose words can be trusted; who does not have a habit or reputation of lying or recanting his promises; who is able and unafraid to speak the truth both graciously and with confidence.


Generosity: I desire for him to become a man who is concerned for the needs of others; who understands everything he has was given to him from the Lord and belongs to God; who manages his time, possessions and his money with a caring and generous spirit.


Courage: I desire for him to become a man who understands that the Lord is His refuge and strength; who trusts in Him whole-heartedly; who, when faced with danger or difficulty, is prepared to do whatever is necessary and right even though he may be afraid; a man who places his confidence not in himself, or in worldly wisdom, but who places his confidence in the Lord and chooses to act bravely and courageously.


Consideration: I desire for him to become a man who respects others and thinks about their needs and feelings; who is sensitive to others and considers those around him as he makes decisions.


Wisdom: I desire for him to become a man who has the knowledge and education to consistently make informed, godly and healthy choices; who chooses and is able to speak appropriate words at appropriate times; whose advice is sought out and respected and who is able to discern matters both spiritual and worldly; who is not quickly fooled or easily manipulated; who is both smart and insightful.


Discipline: I desire for him to become a man who is not easily influenced or persuaded by popular opinion or coercion; who is accustomed to accomplishing a goal or finishing a task on his own initiative, without necessary oversight and direction; who chooses to control his own body and exercises discipline in his thoughts, not allowing himself to be governed by emotion, desire or appetite, but rather by the Lord; who trains his mind and body and who is not enslaved to impulse or addiction.


Purity: I desire for him to become a man who commits both his actions and his thoughts to the Lord; who guards his heart and his mind; who embraces what is good and pure and holy; who eliminates not only what is impure and corrupt, but also what is useless and unbeneficial; who intentionally seeks out what is wholesome and serves to edify his life; who rejects what is degrading or worthless.


Respect: I desire for him to become a man who regards authority as being given by the Lord; who willfully submits and behaves respectfully out of reverence to God; who recognizes and acknowledges the importance and place of authority in his life and is faithful to honor the Lord above any and all earthly authority; who is able to execute a role of leadership and authority well and is capable of leading and managing others respectfully; who is able to accept instruction and correction from others, especially those he is accountable to, and learn from it; who recognizes appropriate social boundaries and honors them.

Excellence: I desire for him to become a man who is diligent, determined and focused; who succeeds in not only accomplishing what is before him, but finishes well; who is able to prioritize what is important and determine what is trivial, and who commits to devoting his energy on what is significant; who is unsatisfied with lackadaisical and whose life and accomplishments both large and small, are marked by quality, consistency and excellence.

A Letter to Dad

"Dad I miss you and we can't play video [translation: I got in trouble with mom today.] and thank you for working."

Nothing to brighten a day like your 5 year old writing you a card to say, "I miss you" and "thanks for working" all in the same run-on sentence. 

Of course, the envelope was also decorated with dinosaurs and a picture of Dad too!

Journal of the Home-Educated

Each of my older children has a journal.  My 2 year old mostly just colors in hers...although she pretends to write.  She will even "sound out" words and say various letters as she "writes".  She can make an "O"...so many words end up "oooo".  

My 5 year old has been writing in his since he was 4.  I really find it challenging to read phonetically sometimes.  It's great not only to see him interested in writing, but it's so special to peer into his little heart and mind at a new angle.  I think he is able to express his thoughts with more clarity when he writes than he is verbally.  Sometimes what he writes makes me laugh...sometimes it melts my heart, and occasionally, it causes me to take a step back and take a painfully honest look at myself, and my interaction with him.

Here are a few excerpts from my son's journal:

"I like doing my journal and I like doing my school."

"We used to almost have a baby.  When she popped she was beautiful!"

Our youngest daughter was born several months ago.  He was recalling when I was pregnant with her..."almost have a baby."  And when we talked about the baby being born we would say she was going to "pop out".   I know - it's not incredibly scientific...and unfortunately not too accurate either, I seriously wish they would just "pop" out.  But it's not too far of a stretch...they sorta pop out. 

I love that he calls her beautiful...so sweet!  He also wrote about the baby in another entry, which I didn't post this time.  In that one he calls her "cut" [cute].

"Bouncy balls are fun."

[naturally followed by renderings of bouncy balls: one for each family member and then three more, one each for his most favorite toys]

"I can't stop crying right away."

This is one of those entries that kind of grips me.  It catches me and forces me to think about how I am parenting.  My son is, well, dramatic...and emotional.  I'm not sure if it's his age, life changes that are happening in the family...or just his personality - or maybe something else.  However, it. is. so. painful...for him, for my husband and I...for his siblings. 

He has developed a tendency to respond to situations he dislikes with high pitched crying and screaming.  Recently, we have determined to take a "zero tolerance policy" approach to it.  It's just not ok for him to yell.  Whether it's a loud sad wailing or an angry outburst...he is punished whenever he chooses that behavior.  

While I think this is good, I also realized that sometimes he just needs to be removed from the situation and given time to consider what transpired.  Often I just expect and demand that he stop...right now.  And although I think he is able and must learn to discipline himself in that way...sometimes he needs some space and some time to cry and be sad.  Not to yell and be hysterical - that I won't tolerate...but I need to allow him some space to express his emotions in a healthy way.  It's my job to correct his poor behavior, but also to guide him and show him how to appropriately express his thoughts and emotions, not just to train him to suppress them, although that skill is also important. 

Sometimes we all just need a good cry.  

 

"I wish that Dad could stay home."

"I am good at Mario Brothers and I am good at Toy Story."

[wii games - see previous post...]

"Mom, I love you and sometimes I want to snuggle.  I love you."

[*smile*...*sigh* I mean, really...how precious is that?!]

"[My sister - I've omitted her name] is naughty sometimes.  [She does] not share sometimes."

"Lions are scary.  Alligators are scary.  I don't like bugs in our garden eatin' our food."

"I am happy 'cuz I'm doin' my journal."

And I am also happy he is journaling.  Good job, kiddo!

An ABC Flashcard Party

My 2 year old and I have been studying the alphabet together.  Everyday for the past several weeks, we go through the upper and lower case letters using flashcards.  I picked these up at a yard sale for less than $1.00.  Yay!  These cards, by School Zone, [you can also purchase here at Amazon.com] have colorful images on one side depicting something that begins with the letter shown on the flip side.  We use the "picture" side to identify objects...and I use them to quiz my older son on spelling.  ["Zebra starts with 'z'...Turtle starts with 't'..."]

But while we are studying ABC's, we only use the "letter" side.  I show her the card, and ask her if she knows the letter, [she claims she doesn't] and then I tell her the name of the letter and ask her to look at the letter and say its name.  Then she traces the letter with her finger [I make sure to direct her, so she will begin learning how to properly write the characters.] and tells me the name of the letter again. 

I mentioned before that she is frustrating to teach sometimes, because she often knows the answer, but chooses not to say it.  I KNOW she knows it!  But she will not divulge the answer unless she feels like it.  I'm not sure if it is laziness or lack of confidence - I'm fairly certain it's neither.  She is just determined.  She does things on her time, when SHE is ready...and if she decided she does or doesn't want to do or say something, no amount of coercion or bribery will sway her to act otherwise.

So, for the past several weeks, the only letter she would admit to recognizing has been "O" and "o".  That's it.  Out of 52 cards, she would only identify 2!  Two.  Ugh.  I was becoming discouraged.  Maybe it's just too difficult for her, I thought to myself.  Maybe she's not ready yet.  Maybe I'm an awful instructor...

So, you can imagine my shock when we began our routine of naming the letters on our flashcards this morning and she immediately began identifying all kinds of letters! 

Y...P...x...K...p...O...W...s...y...k...o...S...F...Q...q...- OH. MY. 

We were hi-five-ing  and cheering and laughing and having a little party the whole time!  Her brother was sitting next to her and cheering her on and laughing with delight and telling her how smart she is, then looking to me and asking if I "could even believe how smart she was getting"!  It was FUN!!! 

Jaw-dropping, discouragement-annihilating fun! 
Love those moments!

So, now I can breathe a little easier. I'm not crazy. I know she gets this stuff...she's just independent and determined and she kind of does her own thing. I truly admire that in her...although I often pray for wisdom on how to guide and direct that part of her character into becoming something healthy and useful for her, rather than discourage it - or ignore it and allow it to grow destructive roots in her heart.

Now I'm off to make her a "Good job!" page. My son asked me to make one for him yesterday and after her flashcards this morning he asked if we can make one for her too. We've started putting stickers on the page when he does really well in his academic studies. They are both excited to tell Dad all about it when he gets home today. :)

Home

From this morning's reading from
"The Journey" [Katie's Uganda blog]:

"no matter where i am, i am always cradled in God's arms, and there i am home."

[image from The Journey]

After we finished the post, I asked my son, "Where is Katie's home?"

"In Uganda."  He answered.

"Yes.  She lives in Uganda."  I replied.  Then told him that I would read the end again and asked him to listen and try to figure out where Katie says her home is.

This we repeated over quite a few times.  His answers varied each time.  We talked about where she was born.  He suggested that maybe she likes to travel all over the world.  I was beginning to give up, wondering if maybe it was a concept he could not yet comprehend.  When I asked the question one final time, he surprised me.  With a smile and glimmer in his eyes he exclaimed, "I think I know!  Katie's home is anywhere."

"Yes!  Good job!  Do you know why Katie says her home is anywhere?"

"Yes, I think I do."  He answered.  "It is because she is cradled in God's arms."

As a homeschooling parent, my joy is doubled when I see my children beginning to understand something I've been trying to teach them in our home education.  Not only do I feel satisfaction and accomplishment as an educator...but also pride and delight as their mother. 

I become especially excited when they are able to reason and figure things out on their own, rather than simply having me tell them.  Sometimes they needs some guidance, and sometimes I do need to explain something.  But those moments when I can almost watch the gears turning in their minds or see the light bulb turn bright through the sparkle in their little eyes - oh those moments are dear to me!

We talked some more about what it means to be "cradled in God's arms".  And then I told him that we too, like Katie, are cradled in God's arms, so wherever we go, God is caring for us, loving us, holding us.

Then I asked him to pray.  And this was his simple prayer:

"Dear Lord, please take care of all the orphan children in Uganda.  Amen."

Amen!

Hii has a Wii. Sii? [But not for Frii.]

I did it.
I caved.



…Sort of.

I think the first time my son played a Wii was sometime early last year. And he’s wanted one ever since. I know he’s been saving up all the money he has earned or been given since late last summer. We already have a PS3…and not to mention computer games…and oodles of toys and books and movies and insane amounts of various other items to hold his attention, occupy his time and keep him adequately stimulated with entertaining activities. But he was fixated on getting a Wii, to play Mario Kart...

My husband liked the idea of getting a Wii, but I was not entirely sold on the idea. I’m not a video game fan in general. I think they are addictive, mostly useless and tend to separate us as a family...even games you can all play together…either you each play separate turns or you have to compete against each other, and either way, it seems that these games draw us in and we become tunnel-visioned in our own involvement. Although, I will say that the Wii games tend to be more inclusive than other game systems and also incorporate activity, rather than just staring at a screen. They are also expensive.

We decided we don’t need a Wii and weren’t willing to spend the money to purchase one right now. That’s that, right?

Uh – no.

Our son decided to save up his money to buy it himself. This announcement presented us with a dilemma. Do we encourage him in his determination and assert his willingness to take initiative and accomplish a goal? A game is one thing to save for, but the whole system and controllers and whatever else these thingys require…that’s a big chunk of change. AND, even if he does save up that much, should we allow him to spend that amount of cash on a game?

We ended up kind of ignoring it at first. We listened to him talk about it…constantly. Then he started asking questions, like how much the game he wanted would cost. We explained that the game costs X amount of money, but he would need much more than that to purchase the system and all the controllers etc. if he wanted to be able to play the game.

At some point my husband struck a bargain with the kid. If he saved enough money to purchase a game, we would help him out with buying the rest [aka buy it for him]. I have a theory, which cannot be entirely proven nor disproven, that Dad cut the deal because HE really, really wants to play with a Wii too. I’m just throwing that out there…I could be totally off…I’m not,…but I could be. ;)

As my son’s 5th birthday was approaching, my husband received a call from his brother. Apparently him and his wife had decided that they wanted to sell their Wii system and all their games and accessories, and were offering it to us if we were interested. I heard him end the conversation with, “I have to talk with Heather first. Let me call you back.” I knew those words meant we were going to be buying a Wii within the next 20 minutes or so.

Eventually after much “talking” I reluctantly consented with, “it’s your decision”. And naturally, he called back ecstatic, and they worked out the details. Well, short story slightly drawn out, my brother-in-law called back not long after they had hung up the phone to say that his bride decided she wasn’t sure they should sell it after all because they still play it so much.

I was relieved...until I realized that my darling man had already set his mind to the task of procuring a Wii. Once he has determined to get something done…it’s pretty much going to get done. He doesn’t often leave a project unfinished. So he did some research and shopping and found a bargain on everything…including games. All-the-while, our son, who initiated this whole ordeal, had no idea.

Of course, since we purchased all these items used, they needed to be tested. Conveniently, we had the perfect testing candidate available, who tested just about every night - the moment the kids were asleep. [See, I was right about my theory…just sayin’.]

Now, the original plan he had devised was to surprise our son and give it to him on his birthday. Which I said would be fine. But the more I thought about it, the more reasons I came up with for why that might not be the best decision.

Reason #1: This is a really extravagant gift for our family. It would not be possible or prudent for us to match or exceed this gift in years to come at each of our children’s birthdays. Not that we would HAVE to, but would next year’s Lego set and box of underwear be a big let-down for the little guy? And would his sisters feel less important when they open up a package full of coloring books and crayons for their birthdays? Idk, likely they won’t remember, so probably not…but there will always be those photo albums to look back at…

Reason #2: It’s really more of a family gift. The Wii wouldn’t be for HIM. It’s for all of us. That was the whole premise of my husband’s argument for replacing our current game system, PS2, for a Wii system…it’s for the family. It’s interactive. We need something fun to do together. I was concerned that he would feel some special entitlement to it, and be reluctant to share, or disappointed when he realized that HIS gift didn’t really belong to HIM.

Reason #3: The point and purpose behind ever even discussing purchasing the Wii was to provide the opportunity for him to learn something about determination and saving money, about working toward a goal and earning the things we need/want, rather than simply having everything handed to us. I feared that our Birthday plan would sabotage these lessons.

So, my husband and I talked again and decided to postpone the giving of this gift until after his birthday, and once our son had earned the entire amount needed to purchase his game.

About a week or so after his birthday, Dad sat down with him and they figured out how much money he had saved up. Then Dad set up a little “store” where our son [and daughter too – she pitched in her money and they bought a second game together] could “shop”. He made his purchases and Dad brought out the system as he had promised. They have been happily racing one another ever since. ;)

Well, as I suspected, the wii bwoght wif it [I don’t know why saying wii causes me to spontaneously speak wif a speech impediment…but it does], both fun and frustration. And one big frustration has been that we’ve been allowing the kids to play in the morning before breakfast. Which I really have no issue with all on its own, however, after playing, my son will complain that he’s too tired from all that racing to do his schoolwork.

Hmmmm… What would be a good way to fix that problem???

So, needless to say, not much has been accomplished this week in our academic studies, however I do think a few lessons have been learned. [And plenty of fun has been had too along the way.]

One of those lessons: Think before you speak.
Another: Get your work done before you have fun.

That’s all.
Love, Mii ;)