Deception & Imperfection

So, last night as I was taking pictures of my son's creation book project, I noticed that we had overlooked the creation of man. Ummmmm...Ooops. That's embarrassing.

At first, I was going to wait and post pictures after he fixed it, since I'm kind of a perfectionist - sort of - ish...sometimes with some things. [I can also be overly analytical.] Anyways, I decided to post the pictures despite the blaring error. I make mistakes as I teach; my kids make mistakes as they learn. It's ok. We go back and fix what was wrong, and then move on from there.

All this got me thinking...

It's tempting to just show off the "perfect" projects or always reflect on the areas of our children’s academic strengths when we are sharing with someone about our homeschooling. But that's not an honest representation. I think that often as Mothers we tend to compare ourselves and our children and their accomplishments and abilities and attitudes to our own demise. I think maybe some comparison can be constructive, but because we compare, it's easy to become trapped in a life that is never good enough...because we can't always compete with everyone else around us.

Moms often, whether consciously or subconsciously, beat themselves up over silly details. And different circles and personalities put emphasis on varying qualities, such as appearance, nutrition, green living, athletics, academics, social skills...you know what I'm talking about. So if we become entangled in this deceptive web of "keeping up with", you can quickly see how exhausting and overwhelming it can become, especially if you engage with different sub-cultures. And it will inevitably distract us from enjoying our children and tempt us to neglect those things that are more necessary or of greater importance.

I hope that as I share our home education experiences, I don't cause you [whoever may read this] to feel that sense that your kids should be doing what mine are. I also don't want to be afraid to share what mine are doing because of what "your" kids are doing. Do you know what I mean? It sounds silly in words, but it's an easy entanglement to find ourselves in.

I notice that my son learns quickly, and has a great memory. He retains the information without too much effort. My daughter doesn't learn that way. And at first I was frustrated with her and disappointed with myself. "Why can't I get her to figure out her colors?!" My son knew his colors when he was so much younger! Instead of being excited when she did recognize a color, I was concerned and irritated that she didn't know them ALL.  At some point knowing your colors is a significant milestone...but I was placing my son's abilities as an expectation on her.  And that wasn't necessary or fair to her.

Be careful, Moms and Dads, not to become so caught up in meeting checkpoints that someone else has handed out to you, or even those you set for yourself, that you neglect to pay attention to where your child is at now, and fail to recognize and acknowledge their individuality. Don't miss out on what they are able to accomplish today, because you’ve become so focused on what you want them to achieve tomorrow. Set a goal for them, and push them a little, but love and encourage them as they are right now too. And be gracious with other Moms and Dads. Be thoughtful in your conversations...and honest about yourself. Each parent and child has strengths and weaknesses, don't allow someone's over-voiced achievements cause you to think otherwise. Imperfection is normal. And the notion that any of us "have it all together" is deceptive.

Oh and by the way, here is our correction of yesterday’s mistake:

[a man and a cow]